The next couple of weekends were supposed to be spent up north this weekend with friends and next weekend just the two of us to have a weekend away before we get sucked into the craziness of our summertime schedules. Well COVID-19 had other plans for us.

I would much prefer to have had a day off and spend it gallivanting through the woods with friends and trying on bridesmaid dresses, but unfortunately that isn’t my reality right now. My reality while writing this post is looking at two very empty weekends on my calendar pretending it doesn’t make me want to cry.

Having anxiety sucks and not being around people whilst you have anxiety can sometimes make things 100x worse. I like to be out and doing things and that’s when I thrive is when I’m busy. The more time I have to sit around and ponder all of the things going on in my brain the worse I get mentally.

So...here’s my game plan for the weekend and I am hoping I have pictures to share about each item as the weekend plays out!

We committed this year to work on dedicating more time to our relationship and this was our first "official" date of 2021!

New beginnings are tough… even though Chad and I have been together almost a year, as of late my anxiety has been in full force. With all of the stress, uncertainty and fear that comes with COVID-19 I have been struggling. Struggle is not a good thing. It’s hard. It’s not pretty. It’s ugly. It makes me shut down. Completely. It feels like we are just starting to date all over again. There are days where I barely know myself let alone understand how I feel. It’s like this situation has made me a different person. Someone who is on the verge of tears at any given moment. Someone who gets worried with a slight change in plan. Someone who even more so thrives on routine and normalcy. Why? I have no clue.

I am going to give it to you straight. This weekend we were supposed to be in Two Harbors galavanting through the woods on an adventure just the two of us. Was I looking forward to it? You have no idea. It was a light. Something for me to look forward to for the last 3 months since I booked it. It was an escape. A weekend where I didn’t have to worry about work or home or anything. I could be free.