New beginnings are tough… even though Chad and I have been together almost a year, as of late my anxiety has been in full force. With all of the stress, uncertainty and fear that comes with COVID-19 I have been struggling. Struggle is not a good thing. It’s hard. It’s not pretty. It’s ugly. It makes me shut down. Completely. It feels like we are just starting to date all over again. There are days where I barely know myself let alone understand how I feel. It’s like this situation has made me a different person. Someone who is on the verge of tears at any given moment. Someone who gets worried with a slight change in plan. Someone who even more so thrives on routine and normalcy. Why? I have no clue.

I am going to give it to you straight. This weekend we were supposed to be in Two Harbors galavanting through the woods on an adventure just the two of us. Was I looking forward to it? You have no idea. It was a light. Something for me to look forward to for the last 3 months since I booked it. It was an escape. A weekend where I didn’t have to worry about work or home or anything. I could be free.

So sorry for the hiatus the last couple of weeks. My world has been going a million miles a minute and I just needed to take a beat and disconnect, but I'm back!

This week at work I had a woman interrupt my sales pitch and say "I'm sorry, but I just have to tell you...you're so beautiful". I have to say at first I thought this old, purple trench coat wearing, short silver hair, dark heavy rimmed glasses dawning woman was out of her mind. I didn't feel great in the outfit I was wearing, I hadn't taken an extra 5 minutes to straighten my hair just right.

I honestly didn't know what to think. And then she continued, "your skin is impeccable, your eyes are so bright, and your smile... well... it's second to none". I responded with a simple "wow, thank you, you just made my day"! She was so kind and she simply said, "So many young women don't realize or hear nearly enough how wonderfully unique and beautiful you are."

Let me tell you I heard what she said and it's been in my mind ever since.