Quarantine sucks straight up sucks.

It's fricken hard. So I'm going to tell you something that I am sure you've heard, but I am going to tell you again. IT SUCKS FOR EVERYONE. IT IS NOT JUST YOU. So quit your pity party and try to make the best of it. It's all we can do at this point.

New beginnings are tough… even though Chad and I have been together almost a year, as of late my anxiety has been in full force. With all of the stress, uncertainty and fear that comes with COVID-19 I have been struggling. Struggle is not a good thing. It’s hard. It’s not pretty. It’s ugly. It makes me shut down. Completely. It feels like we are just starting to date all over again. There are days where I barely know myself let alone understand how I feel. It’s like this situation has made me a different person. Someone who is on the verge of tears at any given moment. Someone who gets worried with a slight change in plan. Someone who even more so thrives on routine and normalcy. Why? I have no clue.

I am going to give it to you straight. This weekend we were supposed to be in Two Harbors galavanting through the woods on an adventure just the two of us. Was I looking forward to it? You have no idea. It was a light. Something for me to look forward to for the last 3 months since I booked it. It was an escape. A weekend where I didn’t have to worry about work or home or anything. I could be free.